Breakfast Served with A Side of Bodyshaming

This morning as I was enjoying my breakfast and drinking my coffee, I stumbled upon a magazine… One of those they sometimes give you as an extra gift, when you happen to buy the magazine that you really wanted.

This time it was a Danish magazine called Q… They write primarily for plus size women. As I fit into that “box” I was intrigued and decided to open it up and started “reading” (to be honest, I primarily looked at the beautiful pictures). Everything in the magazine seemed inspiring, confidence boosting and body positive.

On the cover, they showed a beautiful plus size woman wearing a rich blue bikini, and throughout the rest of the magazine a ton of other beautiful plus size women where enriching the pages in high fashion and bold colors.

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On one of the first pages, there was a nice letter featured to the editor from a male fan. This, I just had to read.

It said;

The most beautiful women

 The article with Ditte Vallø was good, and I will make sure to keep up to date with what she is doing on Marilynscloset.dk. She seems like a reasonable woman, who paints a loving body image. In my opinion, women with curves are the most beautiful. – and the article ‘Beautiful curves’ with Dorthe Kandi was also really good. Thank you for a really good magazine”

Mind my attempt to translate his letter, I did it best to my ability…

That is so refreshing to hear from a man… That makes me feel so good. Ha, take that slim women, this time we win…

But hold on a second… wait! That’s not right.

I know this man’s intention was to express admiration and love for the “type of women” that is portrayed in this magazine, but something about the way he expresses admiration feels wrong to me and leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.

It might be a subtle remark and it might even just be a bad choice of words, but in my opinion it points out a much bigger problem in our society

To be honest, at first, I was smiling and feeling like he was giving me a personal compliment, but then it dawned on me what he was really saying in his letter…

The comparison game

Why do we feel the need to compare women’s beauty? Why not just express admiration for the women in the magazine without dragging other women down at the same time?

Why is it that we feel the need to put ourselves and others into boxes and judge each other on something so individual as beauty?

Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way… and when plus size women are beautiful that does not exclude slim women from the “race of beauty”. And off course the other way around.

Just because societies ideal picture of beauty is a slim waist and a round but, it does not mean that a round waist and slim but is ugly.

Let’s stop comparing each other – and most importantly – let’s stop trying to make ourselves or others feel beautiful by dragging others through the mud.

You don’t have to be less beautiful than I, so I can feel beautiful!

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