Discover the 3 Core Secrets, Of Maintaining a Happy Mind…

Nervous exitment 

As a beautiful Christmas gift, my boyfriend and I are expecting our first child on the 26th of December and as the due date hastily draws closer… I find myself exited, nervous, happy and a bit anxious at the thought of becoming a mother for the first time… “Oh God, the responsibility!!”

With the increased emotional mayhem, I’ve started to – like most new mothers to-be – reflect and analyze every possible aspect of my life, my business and my future;

What is my life going to be like now? How am I going to change with the new responsibility? Am I going to rise to the challenge? How do I make sure to remain happy, fulfilled, satisfied and sane at a time where all I want is to burry myself and the baby under a warm duvet and sleep the day away?

I know that from day one I’ll naturally want to put all my energy into this amazing project of loving my child and making sure she has everything she’ll ever want or need

But, with all the information and knowledge I’ve soaked up through my 32 years of living – and with what I’ve witnessed in friends that have had children before me – I KNOW how important it is if you want to stay sane and HAPPY – to NOT forget yourself and to make sure to recharge!

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If mother isn’t happy nobody’s happy 

I’m a strong believer in the theory that: “In order to take care of the people around you, you need to take care of yourself first”.

It might seem selfish or self-centered to some, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. We’re the ones with the key to our own personal happiness! Nobody else can make us happy! Other people can certainly affect our happiness to a high degree, but we’re the source to our own happiness.

That’s why it’s SO important that we make sure to love ourselves and keep an eye out for our own well-being (even when all we want is to pour every ounce of our love, attention and energy onto that little person in front of us.)

Own vessel for happiness

But if we need to be our own vessel for happiness, then we need to truly understand what happiness is… not just the broad concept of happiness, but happiness on a deeper and more personal level (it often differs substantially from person to person.)

So, what is happiness, how do we obtain it and how do we make sure not to run out of it?

I’ve been working in the field of happiness since the beginning of 2016 and along the way I’ve come across many different concepts, ideas, theories and opinions on what happiness is and how we “obtain” it.

Some believe it’s something we achieve through hard work… some believe we’re born happy but have forgotten how to conjure… some believe happiness is all about attitude and mindset… Some believe it’s found in the moment and by being present… and some believe it comes down to a specific formula that you need to live by… But what is the truth?

The philosophy behind Living Happy is based on 3 core theories: Success, Love and Mindset. All theories that I personally need to remind myself of, as I move into this new chapter of my life.

Here are the 3 core secrets, of maintaining a happy mind:

All 3 layers… Success, Love and Mindset need to be standing strong on their own and together, if we wish to maintain optimal happiness in our life.

On a side note: It’s important to realize that happiness can’t be a constant feeling! Happiness is a feeling like any other feeling we have. You need to leave room for fear, anger, sadness, joy, trust, shame, envy, calmness, love etc. to lead a healthy and balanced life. All feelings – good or bad – are an intricate part of who you are, and one feeling can’t be ignored in favor of another…

But, we can strive to create a more responsive connection to our own happiness.

1: A state of mind

Mindset: Self-talk, optimist vs. pessimist, fear, self-esteem, confidence and lowering the negative influence around you.

I believe that – for the most parts – your level of happiness comes down to your mindset and how you “chose” to approach life and its challenges.

I know that some people deal with debilitating depression or something life-changing and traumatic that keeps them locked in unhappiness, but for the sake of this article I will stay away from addressing that group of people. Instead, I’m referring to the average person… the person who lives an average life and who deals with normal day-to-day challenges and wins… For that person I believe that what sets the tone for their happiness and satisfaction in life is how they choose to approach their life… and what mindset they choose to adopt.

I’ve written several articles on the topic of mindset and loving yourself more and I highly recommend you check them out. I recommend you read “4 Life Lessons on How to Love Yourself More” and also “Discover My 4 Main Secrets to a Truly Happy Heart”.

2: Creating success in your life

Success: Recognition, passion, using your strengths, purpose and doing something you love.

Experiencing success in life is a huge part of feeling satisfied, accomplished and happy in your life.

Not only through work, but it can be through different aspects of life. By accomplishing a goal you’ve had for a long time… by knowing that you are making a difference in your community, either giving back or donating your time… or by being elected as chairman of the board in your apartment building…

Whatever floats your boat and makes you feel passionate and successful.

3: Allowing love to enter your life

Love: Relationship, trust, passion and self-love.

This might seem like a hard one for some… some of you might think “I’ve been looking for love for years now and I still haven’t found it. Does that mean I can’t achieve true happiness either?” NO, it doesn’t!

Whether or not you have a spouse in your life isn’t the point… the point is that you need to allow a high degree of love to enter your life by expressing love to others, yourself and the life that you’re living.

Expressing self-love is just as important – if not more important – than expressing love to others. It all starts with the relationship you have with yourself.

(4.) When I pursue life instead of living it!

This is a bonus! But, it’s also one of the most important aspects of maintaining a happy mind.

One of the biggest culprits in draining my happiness is when I fall victim to the pursuit of my future life and happiness, instead of LIVING my life now… Meaning: when I live more in the dream, instead of enjoying the moment and making sure I reap the benefits of what I’ve already achieved so far.

If I let my mind – and my thoughts of the future – run off with me, I tend to lose focus of what’s truly magical in the present moment. I spend too much energy on what it is I want to happen in the future and forget to focus on what’s going on right in the moment. On those days I tend to drown myself in procrastination ─ like going through social media, watching TV or surfing the internet… wasting hours that could have been spend reconnecting with the moment, myself or loved ones.

I believe wholeheartedly that all 3 layers (and the bonus one) need to be addressed and dealt with, to achieve some sort of cohesive level of happiness… and I’m not alone in this theory.

According to Emily Esfahani Smith (the author of The Power of Meaning: Finding Fulfillment in a World Obsessed with Happiness), to achieve “the good life” full of fulfillment and “happiness” we need to address our 4 human needs… Belonging, Purpose, Transcendence and Storytelling.

Belonging – Love, family and belonging to a tribe of like-minded people.

Purpose – purpose is less about what you want, than what you give! Using your strengths to serve others.

Transcendence – Transcendent states are those moments, when you’re lifted above the hustle and bustle of daily life, when your sense of self fades away and you feel connected to a higher reality.

Storytelling – The stories you tell yourself about yourself. Creating a positive narrative from the events of your life brings you clarity. It helps you understand how you became you.

If you want to dive deeper into Emily Esfahani Smith theories, you can watch her TED talk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9Trdafp83U

or visit her website her: http://emilyesfahanismith.com/

I know I need to remind myself of these 3 core secrets, of maintaining a happy mind: mindset, success, and love, if I want to maintain a happy life and if I want to survive this new chapter of my life…  I’m ready for the challenge and I feel more confident by having this foundation to fall back on when life gets challenging and uncertain.

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