Do We Need a Checklist to Find Love?

A checklist/wish-list is something most of us have, when it comes to wanting a new and perfect partner, but do we really understand how to use it to our advantage or do we just use it as a broad characterization of what we believe we are looking for in a partner?

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Is creating a check list even a good idea, or is it to set up impossible standards no one has a chance of living up to?

I’ve found that people with flexible ears are the least rigid in life. Best way to find yourself a perfect partner may be as easy as squeezing their ears. – Siddharth Katragadda

Okay, I myself have one leg firmly planted in both camps when it comes to the idea of creating a checklist for a “perfect partner”.

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Is That Too Much To Ask?

  • He should have green sparkling eyes (and his skin should glitter in the sun).
  • He should have wide manly shoulders (like the Greek gods).
  • He should have a healthy moral compass and always know what to do in a sticky situation.
  • He should match my intelligence and even be able to challenge me sometimes.
  • He should be dashingly handsome and make me swoon as soon as I open my eyes in the morning.
  • He should be a master in the kitchen all while carrying around two kids and paying the bills.
  • He should catch me when I fall and make me feel like a gracious and beautiful flower when doing so.
  • And the list continues…

I’m a strong believer in the importance of being clear in your mind on what it is you want out of a relationship and from a partner.

For our own good we need to identify what it is we’re searching for. How else would we be able to spot it when it appears in front of us?

When googling for “a checklist for the perfect partner”, 9 out of 10 times you’ll find an article proclaiming the benefits and importance of creating a list of what it is you want out of a partner…

I believe that we need to be careful when it comes to setting specific needs and standards in place though… We need to be conscious of what it is we send out into the universe.

Can you have too many and unfair requirements?

We often start with good intentions, but end up setting impossible goals and making the likelihood of ever meeting someone, who comes even close to our checklist very slim or even impossible.

That way we risk leaving ourselves lonely, in despair and on the verge of giving up on love.

The List

I highly recommend creating the list in the best possible mind space and with the right approach.

If you feel the need to create your own list, it’s important that you don’t focus on the external and superficial qualities of a partner. In fact, I advise that you stay completely away from setting requirements for his* appearance or physical traits, such as:

  • His eyes should be green with flecks of gold
  • He needs to always have a six-pack (even when he turns 60)
  • He needs to be 10”5’ tall.
  • He can’t have body hair what so ever.
  • He doesn’t wear sandals without socks.

Instead focus on your compatibility and his personality traits, such as:

  • He always laughs at my jokes, even the bad ones.
  • He complements my personality perfectly.
  • He’s intelligent and has an amazing understanding and view of how the world works.
  • He puts time, pride and energy in his humanitarian contributions.
  • He loves kids and want’s some of his own.

(*I do not mean to be gender-specific, it could also be a woman)

The Other List

What I have gained from really understanding what it is that I want in a relationship, I’ve not only learned to identify all the positive traits I look for in a partner, but inadvertently I’ve also gotten to understand what it is that I don’t want in a partner.

Even though this isn’t the main focus at this point, in the long run it’s probably one of the most significant wins from this whole exercise.

Be cautious! I strongly urge you to initially only focus on what you want in a partner and stay away from what you don’t want. Becoming clear on what you don’t want is a bi-product of really, truly understanding what it is your heart want’s the most.

Making the list

Making the list requires hanging out in your heart long enough to hear what it is you most desire in a partner. It also requires a leap of faith. Once you’ve clarified your unique goals, preferences and tastes, you need to cultivate the trust that the one you’ve asked for is on the way!

But with all this said, remember to not lose your heart or head in the pursuit of the “perfect” person… there is a huge difference between finding a perfect person and finding a perfect partner. Often there’s a lot of beauty to find in someone’s imperfections.

While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy. (Quote by unknown person)

  

To help you create your own list I’ve created a Wish-List Cheat Sheet for you that can help you get clear on what you’re looking for and what you want from your future relationship.  Click this link to download it now!

Or grab it by clicking this button below!

Do You Meditate? Do You Want to 'Improve Your Self-Love' With A Guided Meditation?

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