Discover My 4 Main Secrets to a Truly Happy Heart

For me personally, happiness is something that comes and goes… It’s not a permanent part of my life, but rather a frequent and very much appreciated guest.

Using social media, we all know a ton of quotes, sayings and teachings about how to be happy, what the secret is to happiness and why we’re still not fully happy, but I find that what makes me the happiest isn’t always represented in those quotes, and also, what makes me happy one day might not be the same on another day.

Some days, isolating myself from others and completely emerging myself in reading and learning something new tickles my happy bone, and other days, spending time with my friends seems to be the only true source of happiness.

Being both an introvert and an extrovert with different needs on different days, I’ve put together a suitcase of “secrets” that, when applied right, can have a huge influence on my overall happiness every day.

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The secrets work wonders for me and – who knows – they might also do the trick for you.

#1 Quality time with the people I love.

I’m aware that it’s the universal “understanding” that YOU are the only source of your personal happiness and that nobody but YOU can make you truly happy…

I refuse to believe though that the people you surround yourself with don’t influence your happiness and overall quality of life.

Before mentioned quotes, sayings and teachings suggest that we need to look inwards to find happiness, and nowhere else.

For example:

“Never search for your Happiness in others, it will make you feel alone. Search for it in yourself. You will feel happy even when you are left alone.”

There is a level of truth in this quote, but so much of my personal happiness comes from spending time with the people I love (and who love me back).

Off course you can’t leave the burden of your happiness on others, you have to create the foundation inside yourself first, but in my opinion the suggestion that there is no happiness to be found in your relationships with others is completely misunderstood.

Ruth Whippman writes in her book, America the Anxious: How Our Pursuit of Happiness Is Creating a Nation of Nervous Wrecks

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“Quite an extraordinary number of scientific studies have been done in recent years about what makes people happy. Between them, they contain many anomalies and contradictions, but if there’s one point on which practically every piece of research into the nature and cause of human happiness is consistent it is this: Our happiness depends on other people.

Study after study shows that good social relationships are the strongest, most consistent predictor there is of a happy life. As Dr. Christine Carter – a leading academic at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center – put it in an online article:

‘The upshot of 50 years of happiness research is that the quantity and quality of a person’s social connections – friendships, relationships with family members, closeness to neighbors, etc. – is so closely related to well-being and personal happiness the two can practically be equated.’”

Remember though that not all relationships are good and healthy… You have to choose what kind of people you surround yourself with, so make sure you choose people who inspire happiness and not sadness.

#2 Productivity in life and work.

This one might seem a bit strange to you, or maybe you can relate completely. I’m a driven person and I love to create and make stuff happen…

Being productive boosts my happiness and energy almost more than anything else on this list. There’s nothing like knowing that you are creating something of use and substance… something that might make a difference in someone else’s life or in your own. It might be cleaning the house, writing on my next book or working on an online course.

Being productive makes me feel alive and it makes me feel like my life is moving forward… instead of moving backwards or standing still.

“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” – Franklyn D. Roosevelt

Unfortunately, my level of productivity fluctuates. Some weeks I feel unstoppable and productive and other weeks I feel like everything I need to get done takes forever and a day.

I believe that your productivity is something you need to take care of. You need to nourish it, keep it alive and inspire it… I constantly try to create the best environment for my productivity and creativity, because I know how huge an impact it has on my overall happiness and quality of life.

If you want to know more about how to boost your productivity I highly recommend reading some of Michael Hyatts work or taking one of his courses. He is one of the masters in creating productivity.

#3 Self-awareness and introspection.

I’ve mentioned the importance of surrounding yourself with people you love (and whom love you back), but another thing that we need just as much, is to work on our internal relationship and mental headspace.

Why do I react the way I do? What makes me happy? What makes me sad? What are my dreams? What are my fears? What makes me tic and what do I want the future to look like?

Those are just some of the questions we need to know the answer to, to really understand who we are and what makes us happy.

The more time you spend reflecting on yourself and your life, the better you get at locating triggers in your own life. You become the expert on you and you begin to understand which direction you need to go to avoid stress or sadness and instead boost your happiness.

#4 Protecting my mindset.

One of the most impactful things I do in my life – to protect myself against stress, worry and unhappiness – is to protect my mindset. I’ve written about this in the 4 Life Lessons on How to Love Yourself More blogpost (it was lesson number 4)

Sometimes happiness isn’t only about the positive things you can introduce into your life, but also the things you can filter out.

There are a ton of negative information thrown at us every day… information we can do nothing about… and information that only drags us down and makes us feel powerless and unhappy.

The same goes for the people you surround yourself with. If you allow people to transfer their negative energies to you, you will be the one carrying their misery around.

Protect yourself, protect your mindset and protect your happiness.

What are the secrets to your happiness? Do you have any secrets you are willing to share? I would love to hear your thoughts. Please leave your comment in the comment section below.

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