When Love Hits Twice

We all know how difficult finding true love can be… The challenge of finding that person who makes us weak at the knees, makes us laugh and feel safe… and not to forget how difficult it can be to open your heart and sacred life to someone… someone who has different ideas and opinions about everyday life and how to love.

Like me, I bet you’ve spend a lot of time realizing your own dreams and creating an amazing life. A life that you have become accustomed to and hold dear to your heart… and you know that not just anybody will be allowed into this sacred space… They could end op changing things and making a mess and that’s not what you want. Right?

But when you meet that “perfect” person, opening your life, home and heart will seem like second nature and MOST of your worries will seem to disappear.

I’ve met this kind of person twice in my life… it just so turned out to be the same person.

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In 2005 I met my first real love… I was seeing another boy at the time when I first met Mads and I was all giddy and silly over how cute I though my new boyfriend was.

I was attending a school party and as my sister was attending the same school at the time, I went over to say hi and let her know how amazing my new boyfriend was. That’s when I was first introduced to Mads.

I though nothing off him at the time, other than how charming and funny he was.

He had these small cuts on his face, and the whole day people had been coming up to him to ask what was going on with his face, to the point where he began telling elaborate tales of victory and bravery (which changed every time he told it to a new person). Why not have some fun with it? I two got the honors of hearing the story, and it’s a story I will never forget.

The version I got: He was walking down the sidewalk, when out of nowhere a ninja-raccoon jumped out in front of him and then proceeded to kick him in the head.

I believe the truth is he’d walked into some branches and got a few cuts that way…

He left a deep impression on me that night, but I was caught up in a different headspace and all I could think was; how amazing my new boyfriend was. But, it turned out that this guy would dump me the most horrible way, a few days later…

First Real Love

After licking my wounds for a few weeks, life went on and everything returned to normal teenage life.

This is when I was introduced to Mads for the second time… Sparks quickly flew and I was absolutely heads over heels in love with him from the beginning (or more exactly after 2-3 days).

We went on to have the best first relationship a girl can have… He was my best friend, my confidant, my ally and my boyfriend all in one. I felt safe, understood and loved by him and that continued for the next 4+ years until I turned 24.

I Had to Find Myself

After 4 years of being in a loving relationship with him, I began feeling the need to be on my own and try new things. I wanted to get to know myself, by myself and unfortunately that meant I had to end it with Mads.

That decision was one of the hardest I’ve ever made, and it took several month from when we decided to split and to the day we actually split up. It was a difficult decision to make but also one of the most adult and healthies decisions I’ve made in my life.

Life went on and I continued to live my life… I explored, traveled, studied, dated, got hurt, learned a ton and evolved into the person I am today, and I wouldn’t change a thing or do anything differently if I could.

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We continued to be friends after the breakup, but we drifted apart and almost lost contact…

Until one Sunday 8 years later, when I woke up with Mads on my mind. I just had to see him!

I wrote him that morning to let him know I would love to see him, and we planned to meet up during the next week.

What happened that Sunday morning and what following week until I got to see him again, was something I have never experienced before in my life.

It was like waking up in my 19-year-old body and mind… all my feelings had returned by 110 percent and I couldn’t wait to see him again. There wasn’t any logic to it… for 8 years those feelings had been gone (or buried) and now they were stronger than ever.

We took a long walk on the beach together where we talked, laughed and got re-acquainted with each other’s lives again… the whole day I wanted to tell him how I felt, but how would he feel? Would he feel the same or would it be completely inappropriate for me to spill my feelings after so many years

I finally got up the courage to let him know, and to be honest I don’t remember a thing I said. It was such a huge leap of faith and a giant step out of my comfort zone, that my brain finally turned off and my heart took over.

The first thing I remember after my blackout is his smile and him jumping over to kiss me.

He is the love of my life, it just took me 8 years of finding myself to realize it.

Love

Love has no blueprint and certainly no guidelines. If you’d asked me 3 months ago whether I believed that I could ever see Mads and I in a relationship again, I would have said that it was unlikely.

What are the odds of that ever happening?

You never know what’s waiting for you around the next corner or what the future will hold… we often don’t even know what it is that our heart wants, until it’s standing right in front of us.

I don’t know what made me thing of Mads or why I finally realized my feelings on that exact Sunday… Maybe I was ready in every way and I was finally capable of seeing through the thick layer of denial that was keeping me from realizing my feelings for so long? I don’t know, but I do know that I’m so grateful that I was strong enough to leap out of my comfort zone and let my heart speak for me and be completely exposed and honest.

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